october has always been a difficult month for me, I keep getting older.
it's crazy shifts in weather patterns, daylight slipping away, and just sadness.
my youngest sister called today, she always talks for a good while, and I appreciate it a lot. after that, my son called, and that is always good.
I actually talked to both of my daughters today too, and still I am lonely and depressed. there is just about nothing to eat in the house, and no prospects for getting anything. poverty makes a serios dent in my mental health. hunger sucks. and it isn't productive, like dieting to lose weight, ok, that's rarely productive either. it just makes me drag through the days, I keep busy mentally online, and do a lot of crocheting, but I'm just doggone hungry when it comes down to it.
I left a message for the food pantry at church, but nobody called back. I made sure to say that I have no food for the weekend, but perhaps no volunteers came in to hear the message.
it gets old.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
what happened?
I just wrote a long rant, and it disappeared! ok, here's a short one, let's see how this goes.
pains
I have to seriously wonder if emotional pain can cause lupus and fybromialgia....... it is certain that emotional pain excellorates physical pain, and physical pain makes depression worse. it can really be a nasty cycle, one thing growing off the other.
I wait for months to get a visit from my daughter and my grandson, but the visit always is too much physical exertion and I suffer so much pain by the time they go that it takes me days to recover. Anguish is a direct result of that.
Has anyone ever done a study to see how many adult survivors of childhood abuse turn out to have chronic pain conditions? From my experiences with other survivors, I have to say there must be a link. How can men keep getting away with doing so much permanant damage to us and also ruin our medical conditions? The cost is high, so high I don't know why they are even allowed to live. Not just because it effects the one survivor, but it also goes on to future generations and spreads agony through communities and so far there is no end in sight.
If bank robbers were allowed to just go on doing what they do, banks would be out of business and people would go back to the barter system in order to make any purchases. See, if money were taken directly from MEN, police would act imediately. Judges would slam down the gavel and guards would clang shut the barred doors.
Child molestors and rapists roam freely.
I wait for months to get a visit from my daughter and my grandson, but the visit always is too much physical exertion and I suffer so much pain by the time they go that it takes me days to recover. Anguish is a direct result of that.
Has anyone ever done a study to see how many adult survivors of childhood abuse turn out to have chronic pain conditions? From my experiences with other survivors, I have to say there must be a link. How can men keep getting away with doing so much permanant damage to us and also ruin our medical conditions? The cost is high, so high I don't know why they are even allowed to live. Not just because it effects the one survivor, but it also goes on to future generations and spreads agony through communities and so far there is no end in sight.
If bank robbers were allowed to just go on doing what they do, banks would be out of business and people would go back to the barter system in order to make any purchases. See, if money were taken directly from MEN, police would act imediately. Judges would slam down the gavel and guards would clang shut the barred doors.
Child molestors and rapists roam freely.
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