rough day again

I always look forward to going to group therapy, and the ladies there are all struggling as I do, but today effected me adversely.
I was not prepared for so much of the graphic nature of topics,
and it left me feeling ill and I ended up having a panick attack tonight and am too depressed to enjoy my online games. I left a message for my therapist, and hope we can be a bit more sensitive to my reactions, so it doesn't keep messing me up.
I don't want anyone to get less than their needs met, so I have to find a happy medium for discussions.

Some things hit me like a hammer.

I also had a long talk with my son this evening. He really understands me, and he told me about how my mother shared the misery of the situation I had in my first marrige with her sister, and that her sister cried when she heard what was going on. I never knew they had this conversation, and both women are deceased now. I did share some things with my aunt, and I know she always wanted things to be better for me and my children. I do not believe she knew about my son not being mom's child, but being dad's and mine...... but she was aware that it was unsafe to have my father around. I assured her she was smart to send him away when he came to her house for a place to stay...... he was completely unable to control his own behaviour. Alcohol may have helped him forget what a creep he was, but it never helped him alter his behaviour.

Men that abuse women and children are also torn up wretched souls, and all of humanity needs to come to Christ and be healed, and repent of their wrong doing.
it is not simple, but it is possible.

Pornography

This is a subject that has recently come up in a private conversation, and one that hits my heart so storngly I have to address it. I have heard it refered to as a "Victimless Crime", and nothing could be farther from the truth.

Every person involved in the production of pornography has an internal injury that our eyes can not see. If all of the dehumanizing and objectifying action that have ever been perpetrated on the individuals in these photographs could visually resemble bullet wounds, scourge marks, swollen bruises, stab wounds.......... how could anyone stand to look on the images?

Our statistics show that 1 in every 4 women is a victim of rape. Violence against women does not occur without a root cause. Pornography inspires abuse, and is itself inspired BY abuse. The viewing of such images for "harmless pleasure" in actual fact does great harm, to marriages, to families, to the heart and soul of the viewer....... the harm pervades and perverts all of society.



Imagine if you will, that each and every photo is of someone's daughter, or son, mother or father, sister or brother, and their bodies have been used, their personal self esteem twisted and damaged, and their chance to be truly valued for the beautiful soul that they were created to be is so unlikely to ever be healed...........



Then see how the objectification of those so-called willing parties, when viewed, inspire the twisted objectification of other people in our lives; wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, sons, friends, relatives....... are being viewed by someone, some where every day. Viewed by persons whose lust has been heightened and sent off-center to inspired agression and actions that result in crimes and torment, and deaths........



If your own mother is walking down the street, minding her own business, and such a twisted person encounters her, is she safe from harm? Can you allow your innocent children to go to the playground to possibly come into the grasp of someone bent on vile aspirations?



I see more victims.



And the viewer, 'harmlessly' pursuing the pleasure that seems so 'normal' and 'acceptable' in our society........

how far away from the grand spirit that God intends us to become, in HIS image, does that casual viewer take himself or herself on a journey that often result in a one way trip?



I see more victims.