Thursday, November 17, 2011

rough day again

I always look forward to going to group therapy, and the ladies there are all struggling as I do, but today effected me adversely.
I was not prepared for so much of the graphic nature of topics,
and it left me feeling ill and I ended up having a panick attack tonight and am too depressed to enjoy my online games. I left a message for my therapist, and hope we can be a bit more sensitive to my reactions, so it doesn't keep messing me up.
I don't want anyone to get less than their needs met, so I have to find a happy medium for discussions.

Some things hit me like a hammer.

I also had a long talk with my son this evening. He really understands me, and he told me about how my mother shared the misery of the situation I had in my first marrige with her sister, and that her sister cried when she heard what was going on. I never knew they had this conversation, and both women are deceased now. I did share some things with my aunt, and I know she always wanted things to be better for me and my children. I do not believe she knew about my son not being mom's child, but being dad's and mine...... but she was aware that it was unsafe to have my father around. I assured her she was smart to send him away when he came to her house for a place to stay...... he was completely unable to control his own behaviour. Alcohol may have helped him forget what a creep he was, but it never helped him alter his behaviour.

Men that abuse women and children are also torn up wretched souls, and all of humanity needs to come to Christ and be healed, and repent of their wrong doing.
it is not simple, but it is possible.

No comments:

Post a Comment