it looks like it's been a while since I've blogged here, and tonight is a good enough time. it is finished being April 17th, 2013. It was my father's birthday, he would have been 95 years old. My sisters were posting little 'happy birthday dad' messages on facebook, and I am just glad he's dead.

he died in 1993, just before his birthday [deceased on the 8th].

Every year I survive him, is a good thing for me. I want to congratulate myself for not letting him utterly destroy me. He certainly gave it every effort.

Mom did her best to make things worse for me.

I'm still here, and they are both long gone.

I still have nightmares of them. But in the end, I wake up and I'm still alive. They lose.

this may not be a cheerful post, but it's how I feel.