D.I.D.

I know a lot of what is written about Dissociative Identity Disorder [multiple personalities] seems extreme.

In my own experience, there have been compartmented experiences, with the blackouts being either partial or complete.

Sometimes I know nothing of what is happening, in extreme crisis, as my more powerful self takes over, and

something akin to peeking through a keyhole to see what I am doing/saying... as I can only see a tiny bit, and at other times words just pop out of my mouth that I can not control and never thought of.

it has never been like the movies; the 3 faces of Eve for example, and my worst persona

are completely erased since I stopped being a heavy drinker.

I know, a lot of people behave differently when plastered, but that is not what used to happen to me, it was more like being completely out of body, and things I would never do or say occur.

Sobriety is a wonderful empowering thing.

I highly recommend it.

Maybe you have some "missing time" or blackouts in your past and wonder if there is something wrong.

This could be D.I.D.

I saw a photo of myself wearing clothing I have no memory of owning....... and people have told me that I did something I have no memory of.

This has been disturbing, and nobody accepts my factual condition.

Having been badly abused for most of my childhood and having had a series of bad relationships as an adult

is the norm for being one with D.I.D.

I cannot tell how many times my father banged my head into a wall, or the floor when raping me.

I was strangled, and he also used chloroform on me. That was the worst because I would come out of it groggy and confused

with loss of memory for a long time.

Migraines can also be part of the problem, as the really bad stress of trauma can cause blinding headaches.

I know that many therapists don't even acknowledge this situation, so I had to do most of my own work repairing my condition.

I am glad to say; I have recovered most of my memories, and have allowed myself to take a long hard look at my personal history.

I was never sure it could be done, but I have not had any blackout episodes for a few years now.

If you have this condition, keep a journal of what happens, and go back and read what you have written from time to time.

You can improve. You can also be proud of yourself for surviving abuse.

Not everyone does.

God bless